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Great preso by @TEDChris about the XYZs of a Truly Terrible #TED Talk. #TEDxSummit

I’m at the inaugural TEDxSummit in Doha, Qatar. It is a ridiculously amazing opportunity for 700 TEDx license holders from 90 countries to gather and share ideas. http://tedxsummit.ted.com

I’m currently in a session entitled, “Must Haves.” Rather than present “The ABCs of a Truly Awesome TED Talk,” Chris Anderson, curator of TED (http://ted.com), just offered, “The XYZs of a Truly Terrible TED Talk.” He’s amazing.

Here’s his hilarious list of what not to do when delivering a TED Talk:

Take a really long time to get started

This is too important to be just a talk. Slow down and orate!

Make sure everyone knows how important you are.

Keep referring back to your brilliant book

To make yourself seem smart, use abstract language and lofty concepts.

Who needs real substance? All that matters is that you inspire.

No need to build an argument. You’re too good a speaker to have to actually persuade people.

If you’re an artist or architect, try to sound as intellectual as possible…and if that leaves no time time to actually share your work, no worries.

Remember, no time to waste telling stories.

If your case is a little feeble, slip in pseudo-scientific jargon to beef it up.

Copy your visuals off the web. It’s so easy. No one will notice.

Be very serious. Humor is a terrible distraction.

Slip in some snarky political comments.

Give lots of details about the history and structure of your organization.

Cram in every single aspect of your work.

Don’t bother rehearsing for time.

You know you’re a great speaker. Wing it.

Memorizing 90% of your talk should be fine.

Be cunning and read your talk off the confidence monitor!

At all costs, avoid eye contact with audience members.

Great TED Talks follow a formula. Crack the code and copy it!

Don’t risk being true to yourself.

Emotions matter. The audience is there to be manipulated.

Use at least one gratuitous picture of a family member.

It’s easy to fit 3000 words into 18 minutes; just talk faster.

End with a subtle hint about your organization’s crucial funding needs…and linger on stage waiting for a standing ovation.

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